This morning I had some little jobs to take care of in town , put some snaps in to be developed , pay a tenner off my loan but the main reason was to buy my daughters birthday card , I've had to buy it early as it needs to be inspected by my own solicitor and also my ex wife's solicitor in case I write something inappropriate in it or God forbid put some money inside , the judge made it very clear that I was under no circumstances allowed to put any money or send a present , just a card with a small note . I took some pics of the Dukey stall that my daughter and I used to visit every week last summer , hook a duck and win a prize every time , and I'll sneak those in and hope they escape the radar , what harm could it do ? Choosing her card carefully , I wanted one with a badge on which says 5 today and found just what I was looking for in the Disney shop with a picture of Cinderella and a big shiny badge that she can pin on her school jumper and let everyone know shes 5 , I hope she gets to see it , my ex will probably chuck it straight in the bin once shes had a quick look for the notes that I'm not allowed to send . My probation officer said if I sent money it would be a bribe , I'm sorry but I just do not understand that , she has no kids , Fucking Nazi Bitch ! My only problem is what to write in the card " miss you loads , see you soon " , I don't want to upset her , " Daddies got loads of presents when I see you " , that will probably get me into trouble ??? I hope one day you get to read this blog E , then you can decide for yourself if you think your mum is a complete and utter bitch ?

Received a call from my alcohol key worker and I've got an appointment to see him Friday at 12.30 pm , I was hoping to be back into rehab on Monday but might have to wait a little longer , I'd also hoped to avoid my probation officer for my usual Monday morning arse kicking session , she thinks I'm sober and will have found out I'm back on the booze after my meeting with Sarina the other day , I'm sure shes got a cock hidden in her Y fronts !

The police are parked in my Street again as I write , why don't they set up permanent surveillance , they seem to be up here every day, they still make me jumpy and nervous , I know the next time I get into trouble then it's a definite prison sentence and I might not even get bail .