10 months and my big day arrives , 3 hours in court and I come out with the privilege of sending my daughter a birthday card , not allowed to put any money in it or give her a present . The solicitor for my ex is 4 feet away from me and i want to fucking hurt him , my body is shaking with rage, the unfairness of the situation , I want to explode and scream , puke on the floor .
I haven't seen my ex in 10 months and am terrified of seeing her , I don't know whether I'm going to attack her or run away .
I see her and she is wearing the same clothes from 5 years back and looking even bigger than I remember , at least 2 stone heavier , "Chill Jim , Breathe like Frankie said , I want to catch her eye and wink just to spin her head out .