Sober 4 days now and feeling very well , lots of chit chat with other addicts and medical staff . New faces seem to arrive everyday , some drugs and some drinkers . Attended a C.A. meeting on the ward which turned out to be interesting , the guy running the show kept saying "look where your addictions have got you ? a mental hospital , Do you understand this ?" , it needed to be said , I'd never really considered that I was a mental patient .

My Mother contacted my ex wife to arrange a time when she could see my daughter . There is absolutely no legal reason why my Mother shouldn't have access to her Granddaughter . I spoke to my Mother yesterday as it was Ella's birthday , wondering whether she had sent her a gift or maybe some money , my Mother said no which surprised me then she told me that she had received a letter from my ex wives solicitor telling her Ella did not wish too see her Grandmother . I must get access to my daughter ASAP before she forgets who any of us are . I cannot explain how much I despise that fucking piece of shit I stupidly married . I wonder did Ella get my card , note and photos ?