Ive been pissed for 9 days , today is Sunday and I'm sober . I could scream with the amount of pain I'm in , my back is on fire .
My head is a mess , can't think straight , just wanna sleep which is causing me more pain , I have to kill this alcoholism , my kidneys ache from the beating over the last 9 days .
Tomorrow I have to see my alcohol key worker and tell him why I dropped out of detox last week , I have no excuses , what will I tell him ? Beg for another detox ?
I've got to stop pushing people away , let people into my life , get properly involved in this non drinking way of life , Don't be scared Jim , these people are gonna save your life ! Be a man and kick this destructive fucking habit out of your life and do it now , it's gonna kill you if you don't . Remember how much pain your in now , nearly as bad as when you had the op , yep Jim it's killing you , DO IT , DO IT , DO IT and now is the time , your dieing , so what do you have to loose , you've already lost everything that means anything to you and all that for the price of a bottle of booze .You fucking fool.